closure

i got my answers......

when she loved me

when somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart

and when she was sad
i was there to dry her tears
and when she was happy so was i
when she loved me

through the summer and the fall
we had each other that was all
just she and i together like it was ment to be

and when she was lonely
i was there to comfort her
and i knew that she loved me

so the years went
by i stayed the same
but she began to drift away
i was left alone
but still i waited for the day
when she'd say i will always love you

lonely and forgotten
i never thought she'd look my way
when she smiled at me
and held me
just like she used to do
like she loved me
when she loved me

when somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart
when she loved me

if only

if only i cud turn back time
to those moments when we were so much in love
when nothing really matters when we were next to each other
when a text msg just brings a smile to my face
when each words uttered from our mouth sounded like a grand symphony
when the sight of u just drowned out the rest
when your sweet little smile just make my day
every words, every smile, every actions

u meant the world to me and i would do anything for you
you were the only thing in the world that i would give up everything for
you were my inspiration, my happiness, my hope, my everything

if only i could turn back time

goofy havin a puff

cigarettes never tasted so good after watching this..haha

stand by me

When the night has come, and the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we will see
No, I won't be afraid, oh, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
So darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Oh stand, stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall
Or the mountain should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no, I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
And darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Whoa stand now, stand by me, stand by me
*Solo*

And darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Oh stand now, stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall
Or the mountain should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no, I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
And darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Whoa stand now, stand by me, stand by me
So darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Oh stand now, stand by me, stand by me
Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me
Oh stand by me
Whoa stand now, oh stand, stand by me...

all the fine things in life

yet another frustration...put too much hope in something
u end up badly dissapointed
blardy hell, night after night and when i'm most in need
fuck u man!


i will not let people dictate my life anymore, fuck this shit
in my pursue of the finer things in life, nothing matters to me anymore
a hope is still a hope, i stopped hoping!

in the end, it's all down to you. u live the consequences of your own doing
u dictate and decide how u live the next course of your life
no one will make me feel inferior anymore, everything i do, i do it for myself

and that will be me in that dolce suit in the next couple of months

crossroads

my heart let out a heavy sigh!
nvr tot it would be this fast, she'll be away soon
a testing time for us

waiting is such a torturing game

postponed again..that wait is killing me

a inquiry call came in today..at least there's something to rejoice

postponed again..that wait is killing me

a inquiry call came in today..

2nd day third week

gettin a bit restless, not a single inquiry
must work harder

:(

the story teller

another week another step closer
i'm gettin a bit restless actually but must not rush it
i think poverty had strucked me for far too long
anything decent seems so far out of reach
i must not lose it, i must continue....
i do not wanna be a fool no more
hope and courage is my only friends now

it's amazing how certain people make tonnes of money effortlessly
i wish i command such skills or is there a story behind each success?
i hope i'm writing mine now

WANTED

DEAD OR ALIVE!!

so close

You`re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I`m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you`re beside me and look how far we`ve come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We`re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let`s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

why

i had the longest night in my life
every now and then, i looked at the phone
hoping it would ring, my mind was flying everywhere
i couldn't sleep, sit, eat, drink or anything
the heartache is unbearable
if there's anything that i can do to reverse this
oh god please let me know!!
i would do anything

i never thought i could be sooo in love with someone

i misses you so badly!

........

looked at my entries again
i guess it beats the purpose of this blog without her
i think i cried almost the whole night
and i'm FUCKING tearing up in office like a sissy!
never ever i had felt this way before
i did what i could
i learned

it was almost a perfect fairytale story
it started with all the right reasons
it ended with all the wrong ones

my mind is blank and i'm restless

"give me strength to go thru this"
"to love and not to hate, for once we were so much in love"
"let me have the courage to love again"

OBITUARY

PANDA
30.9.08 - 13.8.09

Never borned, Never Died,
visited this earth on a beautiful journey called life