of ciggies and coffee

it's been 3 months now
coming back to astro breathed a new life into me
life is good now with a lil hint of love blossoming thru
gonna take it slow this time and will not make any hasty decisions
i will put my heart and soul in my career and make my mark again
now i have a great show under my belt and just finished the pilot recording
and i have the chance of fulfilling my life long dream of a documentary project in madrid next year
2010 will be a great year!!

looking back...i realized how foolish i was
i was a complete idiot! losing my perspectives anyway...
what doesn't kill you, make u stronger
i'm more focused and matured now
i'm enjoying life

I would like to thank:

*in no specific order!
Mum, my 1st bro, jay.c, KY, ah small girl, Ms. Moon Kitty, ah small girl, Fat Ting, kw, jackie, karen, and tkw

for being supportive during my darkest hours

how to be a boss in 3 hours

Decided to take LRT to The Mall to settle my co. registration. It's been almost a year since i last boarded a LRT train. it reminded me why i actually enjoyed it last time....
you can observe almost every level of the society in a train...all kinds of people
and it's interesting just to people watch!!

mum was free so she decided to tag along

here comes the train

reached there around 11.30am and was given Borang A ...filled in everything and got my nombor giliran 1012

finally my number was called and submitted all the necessary documents and payments and ...it's DONE! now i just need to collect my official registration cert

while waiting for the cert...we had KFC for lunch

and...here it is! my Sijil Pendaftaran Perniagaan

I'm actually quite impressed with the efficiency of SSM

in love again

oh geez!! i do not know how to say this but....
i'm thinking of her every now and then!!
i need a daily fix of her to get me goin
i think i secretly fell for her....



Oh Miley!!!

a life that was...and that will be

had my first production meeting in 2 years
it feels good to don the long forgotten astro id and to walk the corridor of east entrance
i'm all geared up for my return as a tv producer/ director
maybe that's my tru calling
it's great to be back !

room 18

met up with fat j on friday for lunch...he took me to room 18 in times square....place look so-so but the food there are superb!! yummy-licios and orgasmic



the siew yuk...i tell you...die die must try

star of the day...introducing the" Lao Sa Pau"...one word! Lao-nessnotice how the lao-ness oozing out from the bun!!!!if you're having the "lao sa pau" please do not order any other food...two of these lovely wholesome bun will have your tummy bloated for the next couple of days!!

once

i was naive and i faltered
i was bitter and i begrudged
i live and i learned

i am still learning to live again

the return of oswong

life's like a merry go round
after 2 yrs years of bumping around and job hopping
i'm finally back to my producing days
will be producing and directing a football show on wah lai toi very soon
just matter of signing on the dotted line

anyway..i did made my mark in this industry back then
hopefully i can re-live the glorious days once again!!

come november...i'll be a tv producer/ director again!

This is the number one rule for your set- in order to survive,,gotta learn to live with regrets

tit tit tit...tit tit tit
my phone beeped signaling a "to do note" deadline
it reads "Bevai0930. Can we make it to one year?"
my heart let out a heavy sigh!

one year ago on this day
i was the happiest guy on earth..i was like a child again!

I find myself breathless, dizzy, and incapable of rational thought. My friends find me unbearable
My heartbeat races, my palms are sweaty and my body feel hotter than usual. I walk around with a dopey perma-grin plastered on my face

all i could think of ..was her

i still remember vividly how it started
how i first held her hand and her planting a kiss on my cheek
it was so surreal...i was on cloud nine

365 days later..here i am
sitting all alone in my room blogging about this like an ol sissy trying to seek words of comfort to make myself feel better

i guess i went thru wat i can officially announced the 2nd worst moment of my life..1st being the death of my late father...i'm no romeo and i'm not referring to my breakup only but a series of unfortunate events that landed me in my recent predicaments...well the break up did had a big impact as it happened when i needed someone the most..when i abandoned everything and seeked refuge in her..wrong move!

i think i really hit rock bottom this year
i can't undo the past but i hope i can learn from it
not to repeat the same mistakes again
to move on and lead a better life

anyway..my 2nd brader..just announced he's getting married next year
at least there's a piece of good news this year
mum went into full action of getting the right date and stuff
kept complaining about this and that but i know deep inside..she's happy
very very happy indeed

if only my pa is still around to witness the wedding of his 2nd son
he'll be so proud!

anyway...life goes on..things will get better from now on
just another chapter in life...



happy anniversary

mungkin kotek dia tumbuh kat kaki kot

"Fetish sex hubby needs psychiatric help, says exco man"

The man’s 28-year-old wife lodged a report against her husband last Monday, alleging that he had inserted various objects into her private parts.

In her report, the housewife alleged that her husband had tried to insert his toes into her private parts again at 1am on Monday, triggering a heated argument between the couple

read this article on the star online

can't help but to wonder what's wrong with this dude? insert your toe into your wife's pussy?
i just wonder how does this whole fetishes concept work...ok ok i do have fetishes for girls who dressed in nurse or secretary outfit but inserting different different objects into a pussy can actually turn you on?

maybe the missus shud consider getting one of this to fulfill his sexual desire...i'm sure he can have a lot of fun with this toy...

the world in the eyes of a director

the chanced meeting with u-wei came back with an unexpected reward
chatting with him reminded me why i was so passionate about video production once
it's not the glam &glitz of working in the industry but a way of life
a way of life that differ from the ordinary, it changes you

we're trained to beautify subjects or matters
you see a child playing with sand on the beach, we see an artist working on a masterpiece
we create a platform of values & beliefs for our viewers
some call it deceptions but we merely fulfilling the thrills of un-imaginative minds
we spread love thru the wonders of visual and audio medium

we learned to be more appreciative of lil lil things in life
in a world consumed by the evil wrath of greed
humans become more materialistic, children growing up worshiping success

now tell me what is your definition of happiness?

a 10k chanel bag or sunrise on the seaside?

TOP 10: Reasons to Stay Single

No.10 - Your Career Will Benefit

When a guy is climbing the corporate ladder, he can’t think twice about staying late at the office or hitting the strip club with the boss. Girlfriends demand quality time -- as they should -- but you won’t be able to give it to her if you want that corner office. If you ever hear that the guy in the next cubicle just got engaged, congratulations to you. You’re going to crush that poor sap while he’s out shopping for place cards.

No.9 - You Never Need To Make Plans For Two

Happiness means never having to ask permission. The benefits of having a significant other -- the nurturing and sharing and all that other crap -- all go out the window as soon as your buddy asks you to go to Las Vegas and you realize you need to check with your girlfriend first. It’s not just the big trips, but the small ones that rankle most. Want to grab a quick bite or a dozen beers on a whim? Not so fast; she might have something else planned for you already. And it’s unlikely to include lap dances.

No.8 - You'll Be Healthier

The first thing a guy does upon locking down a girlfriend or tying the knot is let himself go. There’s no need to eat right or exercise if you’re not chasing tail. Once you sit down on the couch to watch a Hugh Grant movie with your significant other, you aren’t getting up -- ever. Single guys keep themselves in peak physical condition in order to attract female attention. Hell, I’m prepared to run a marathon on the off chance I could get laid at the end.

No.7 - Weddings Are More Fun

Marriage is a celebration of love, commitment and the opportunity to nail lonely women. I like the little program you get when you arrive for the ceremony. I immediately look for the list of bridesmaids. For single guys, this is our first taste of the menu for the evening. The marriage of a man and woman who love each other often leads to premarital sex between a man and woman who barely know each other.

No.6 - You Can Enjoy Your Personal Space

I haven’t had a roommate in six years (since I was 24). It is glorious. If you’re an absolute slob, then I guess there’s some benefit to living with your girlfriend. But if you can maintain some modicum of cleanliness, you will be ever thankful you’re single, live alone and can go to the bathroom with the door open. My refrigerator has a drawer labeled “fresh produce.” That’s where I keep the beer.

No.5 - You'll Save Money

Bachelors spend a lot of money on women for sure: on taking them out, on buying them the occasional gift and especially on buying enough drinks for ourselves to work up the courage to talk to them in the first place. But no one spends more than a married guy. Redoing the living room, taking trips to Ft. Lauderdale to visit her family and (gasp!) even having a kid -- these are all big-ticket items I never touch. I may have commitment problems, but at least I’m earning interest on them.

No.4 - The Sex Is Better

There are certainly benefits to sleeping with the same girl night after night: You get to know your significant other’s likes and dislikes, and she yours. And she’ll eventually make peace with you falling asleep immediately afterward. But that’s about it. For single guys, sleeping with a variety of women means you never have to picture another girl in your head while you’re doing the deed. Plus, we can also fall asleep immediately afterward -- or at least pretend to until she finally leaves.

No.3 - You Can Watch Whatever You Want

When my DVR doesn’t record a program, I know exactly whose fault it is. It's mine, since I’m the only one who ever touches the thing. Never underestimate the power of wielding complete control over the remote. If I want to switch every 15 seconds between SportsCenter, UFC and another previously recorded episode of SportsCenter, there’s no one to stop me. True bliss is not getting dirty looks from your girlfriend just because you want to watch a Megan Fox movie on mute.

No.2 - You Can Spend More Time With Your Friends

Guys who are about to get married are very fond of telling their boys that “nothing is going to change; we’re still gonna hang out.” Trust me, everything changes. When guys get out of a relationship or get divorced, the first thing they do is get the old band back together. That’s because guys need quality time with their friends. It keeps us sane and they get us drunk. For bachelors, every night is a guy's night out.

No.1 - You Learn What You Need From A Relationship

Being single offers one final advantage that doesn’t get talked about much. Couples deny it and single people themselves rarely realize it. But the fact is, being alone is an incredible opportunity to learn about yourself. In fact, I posit that the longer you’re single before getting married, the better off you’ll be, because only single people truly know what makes them happy. Unless you’ve spent years drinking your inhibitions away, putting yourself out there, experiencing the thrill of one-night stands, and coping with the agony of rejection, how can you really know yourself? Playing the field is merely doing due diligence while having a blast to boot. More importantly, what fun is married life if you don’t have any high jinks to reminisce about? Waking up next to your wife every morning must be twice as reassuring after you’ve spent 10 years waking up next to chicks you have had to introduce yourself to.

my to do dvd list

Mac'gyver

i didn't know they have Mac'gyver action figure man...

david guetta is awesome

a new path again?

just two more items to be removed!
i'm doing just fine..

got an interview tomorrow at 11am

kemeja t = movie producer??

what do you think?

drastic measures

need to quickly move on
little by little items are being removed
to free myself

will be going for the producer's job interview
let's see what they have got to offer
after all...i have always been really good in the entertainment industry
maybe that's my tru calling

hmmm..

tanah licin offered me a job as a movie producer..
hmmm...should I?

coffee and cigarettes

i'm 7 days away from the one month's mark
it's been a turbulence ride of emotions
past few days have been quite a experience for me
to find myself again among my family and my friends

i still think of her with a heavy heart at times
slowly it's fading away....

i past the "i'm happy if you're happy stage"

it's funny how ex lovers react to breakups
some ends with hatred and anger
some with best of wishes
some even ended up as bestest friends

i think i been thru the whole emotions
i really do learned a lot from this relationship
you never never put all your eggs in one basket
in fact you shouldn't even put your eggs in the basket

i am a very sensitive guy..so to say
when i fall in love i really do hope it will be forever
i never really believe in short term relationship
if it's fuck buddy then you fuck...this all merely lust
but when you;re in love ...you give everything

i just loved the feeling of someone who will be beside you
someone to share my happiness and tears
someone for me to take care of and to shower her with tender love and care
someone to hug and love..when you know no matter what happened...he/she will always be there for you

you learn from your mistakes, i took quite a fall
i don't think i'll ever look at love that way anymore
i guess i need to have a newtake on life
i need to learn to be more selfish, to make things happen for myself

i'm learning to adapt to my new single-hood lifestyle
to improve myself, intellectually and physically
i'll pursue what i deemed important in my life

i had sweet memories but if i had a choice
i would rather it hadn't happened...it might sound sour on my part
but it could spare me from my heartache
i could live without food or water but the pain of losing something that you held dearly to your heart is unbearable

i'm glad i'm slowly moving on
to let go of everything and erase all those painful memories

to learn to smile again, to learn to be happy again, to learn to be more appreciative in life, to seek new experiences, to pursue my passions,


love is like coffee and cigarettes...u know it's bad for you but you still go for it coz it feels good!!

love have got to wait..i do not dare to love anymore

volkswagen

meeting up with volkswagen later in the evening!!
can u believe it? inquiry from volkswagen??

oh yea

and to you..mutha fucka
if i ever see you again...
i'm gonna fucking sort you out!!

i got robbed

had my first ordeal as a victim of robbery last night
it was quite hair raising
he fucking held his knife to my throat
i tot that was it...he's going to slash me
at that point...i think i had a flashback
realized there are too much things i haven't done in life...
i quit hoping on what's not
i'll enjoy every lil moment of my life
life's too short to be unhappy...

i am who i am

i'm old skool
i'm new
i'm smart
i'm silly
i'm happy go lucky
i'm fun to be with

i enjoy the finest things in life
i take pleasure in little things in life
i love good food
i enjoy cooking them too

i love waking up to a beautiful sunshine with a cup of coffee and a cigarettes on my hand

i like reading books
i like reading magazines
i like reading newspaper
i like reading in general

i like learning new things
i like studying cultures

i like taking pictures
i enjoy all sorts of musics
i enjoy good movies

i like to travel
i love island getaway

i like to joke
i like to be surrounded by good friends
i like being out on a friday night and have a pint or two with friends
I enjoy a good game of futsal on a saturday afternoon

i'm sucker for beautiful things
i like shopping
i like fashion

i like to see new things
i like to meet new people
i like to hang out and do nothing at all

i hate to be lied to
i hate waking up on monday morning

i adore my dad
i love my mum
i have a silly dog
i have two annoying brothers

i'm sentimental
i'm metero-sexual
i'm playful
i'm cool

i'm good
i'm bad
i'm all i have

i am who i am
that's who i'll be and that will always be

stupid is an understatement!

WHAT THE FUCK?

aha aha!!

another deal on my table!! things are really really looking good aight..
closing in on my A4...i'll be hustling in style yo

i'm bringing sexy back

woke up with a headache again this morning!!
damn....my hangover lasted for two days man!!
haha...was driving to work this morning and yes..i'm late

got stuck in the jam and started blasting sexyback
i got into the whole justin terbalik mode and started singing out loud
i didn't realized there was this fly girl driving a white mini cooper next to me
oh my god!!! fucking malu

but u know what? she smiled at me and she winded down her window and we chatted for a good ol 5 mins...

haha! her name is samantha, a pr consultant, staying in Sg Long.

Nice meeting you girl!

it's monday again!

monday blueeeee....
paper works and paper works
bila weekend mau datang lagi?

sat night out

went k session on sat night
i admit i'm not a very good singer but walao eh...
i really cannot sing anymore..no voice
and sue and yuki...that two girls!!
gemilang and i drove to you all night...pitch perfect
damn paiseh!!

went werner's after..been some time since i last visited werner's
i was so drunk i've to blardy leave my car in jalan alor and followed a fren back
and woke up with the biggest hangover i ever had!!! kanasai!

you learn

I, recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone, yeah
I, recommend walking around naked in your living room, yeah

Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

You live you learn, you love you learn
You cry you learn, you lose you learn
You bleed you learn, you scream you learn

I, recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I, recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free

Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

You live you learn, you love you learn
You cry you learn, you lose you learn
You bleed you learn, you scream you learn

I, I, oh, oh

Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually, anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend

You live you learn, you love you learn
You cry you learn, you lose you learn
You bleed you learn, you scream you learn

You grieve you learn, you choke you learn
You laugh you learn, you choose you learn
You pray you learn, you ask you learn
You live you learn

closure

i got my answers......

when she loved me

when somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart

and when she was sad
i was there to dry her tears
and when she was happy so was i
when she loved me

through the summer and the fall
we had each other that was all
just she and i together like it was ment to be

and when she was lonely
i was there to comfort her
and i knew that she loved me

so the years went
by i stayed the same
but she began to drift away
i was left alone
but still i waited for the day
when she'd say i will always love you

lonely and forgotten
i never thought she'd look my way
when she smiled at me
and held me
just like she used to do
like she loved me
when she loved me

when somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart
when she loved me

if only

if only i cud turn back time
to those moments when we were so much in love
when nothing really matters when we were next to each other
when a text msg just brings a smile to my face
when each words uttered from our mouth sounded like a grand symphony
when the sight of u just drowned out the rest
when your sweet little smile just make my day
every words, every smile, every actions

u meant the world to me and i would do anything for you
you were the only thing in the world that i would give up everything for
you were my inspiration, my happiness, my hope, my everything

if only i could turn back time

goofy havin a puff

cigarettes never tasted so good after watching this..haha

stand by me

When the night has come, and the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we will see
No, I won't be afraid, oh, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
So darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Oh stand, stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall
Or the mountain should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no, I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
And darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Whoa stand now, stand by me, stand by me
*Solo*

And darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Oh stand now, stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall
Or the mountain should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no, I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
And darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Whoa stand now, stand by me, stand by me
So darlin', darlin' stand by me
Oh stand by me
Oh stand now, stand by me, stand by me
Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me
Oh stand by me
Whoa stand now, oh stand, stand by me...

all the fine things in life

yet another frustration...put too much hope in something
u end up badly dissapointed
blardy hell, night after night and when i'm most in need
fuck u man!


i will not let people dictate my life anymore, fuck this shit
in my pursue of the finer things in life, nothing matters to me anymore
a hope is still a hope, i stopped hoping!

in the end, it's all down to you. u live the consequences of your own doing
u dictate and decide how u live the next course of your life
no one will make me feel inferior anymore, everything i do, i do it for myself

and that will be me in that dolce suit in the next couple of months

crossroads

my heart let out a heavy sigh!
nvr tot it would be this fast, she'll be away soon
a testing time for us

waiting is such a torturing game

postponed again..that wait is killing me

a inquiry call came in today..at least there's something to rejoice

postponed again..that wait is killing me

a inquiry call came in today..

2nd day third week

gettin a bit restless, not a single inquiry
must work harder

:(

the story teller

another week another step closer
i'm gettin a bit restless actually but must not rush it
i think poverty had strucked me for far too long
anything decent seems so far out of reach
i must not lose it, i must continue....
i do not wanna be a fool no more
hope and courage is my only friends now

it's amazing how certain people make tonnes of money effortlessly
i wish i command such skills or is there a story behind each success?
i hope i'm writing mine now

WANTED

DEAD OR ALIVE!!

so close

You`re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I`m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you`re beside me and look how far we`ve come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We`re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let`s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

why

i had the longest night in my life
every now and then, i looked at the phone
hoping it would ring, my mind was flying everywhere
i couldn't sleep, sit, eat, drink or anything
the heartache is unbearable
if there's anything that i can do to reverse this
oh god please let me know!!
i would do anything

i never thought i could be sooo in love with someone

i misses you so badly!

........

looked at my entries again
i guess it beats the purpose of this blog without her
i think i cried almost the whole night
and i'm FUCKING tearing up in office like a sissy!
never ever i had felt this way before
i did what i could
i learned

it was almost a perfect fairytale story
it started with all the right reasons
it ended with all the wrong ones

my mind is blank and i'm restless

"give me strength to go thru this"
"to love and not to hate, for once we were so much in love"
"let me have the courage to love again"

OBITUARY

PANDA
30.9.08 - 13.8.09

Never borned, Never Died,
visited this earth on a beautiful journey called life

a fiery start

not gonna care anymore
my motivation will only be money
that should have been my motivation from day one
no more artistic fancy stuff
anyway u need money to be an artist
fuck u all and i'm coming to get your money

take my car if you will
nothing will ever stop me

feeder

i wonder if i gave too much
i'm just a facilitator
doesn't matter how i feel and what i want anymore

over the rainbow by judy garland

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

always be my be

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby


I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no



You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time cant erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time


You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my,....my baby....

You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
You will always be my baby